Learn something new every day!

First, if you have a few spare minutes, try out the Nerd quiz on Max Oz's blog. The LASIK surgery I had done a few years ago made the difference between me being an all out nerd and just socially inept. I blame my parents, though - they're both computer programmers so I didn't have a chance. I wrote my first application in third grade and would spend hours at a time writing code in our basement. My dad still recalls the excitement in my eyes when he came down and introduced me to the concept of variables.

You know how they say you learn something new every day? Well, let me tell you about today's lesson! (Warning, this is NOT for the faint of heart). My husband is one of those people who knows a little something about everything. It's rather fascinating, but you can't get anything past him. In one of my typical moments of just blurting something out purely for shock value, I quoted a song I heard earlier that day: "I don't care if you're a Pisces or a Taurus as long as you're hung like a Brontosaurus." (The vocalist later goes on to say, "I don't care what's in your past, my only concern is what's in your pants"). My darling hubby's response? He politely informed my that Brontosauruses didn't exist but if they did they probably didn't have penes.

I couldn't just let that slip by.... I looked it up and WHAT DO YOU KNOW! He was right. What was first called a Brontosaurus turned out to really be an already discovered dinosaur called an Apatosaurus. However, the term Brontosaurus was eventually made a synonym because it became a more popular term used to describe that dinosaur. Sorry, I won't get into the reproductive habits of dinosaurs, but scientists think they did it like crocodiles. You can look that one up on your own...

Need inspiration

Well, my return to the working world has served to reverse the deterioration of my mental and spiritual capacity leaving me somewhat uninspired when it comes to interesting blog topics (if you haven't already picked up on that after reading the last few posts). I realize this is fairly counterintuitive, but I tend to be much more accepting of pretty much everything when I'm in a good mood, thus I have nothing to rant about.

But I did get a little chuckle over something the other day that I will share. My troubled former employer announced that they discontinued their previously stated plans to deploy a global ERP system because the "pilot" at the first site showed that the anticipated benefits wouldn't be realized in a timely manner. Pilot?! I'd like to hear what the employees at that site have to say about that little fiasco being called a pilot. The filing goes on to say that this discontinuance will cost the company $1 million in cash and an additional $6 million in impairment charges. This is after the project went over budget to the tune of millions.

No, this is not what I found entertaining. A lot of people lost their jobs as a result. What I found so darn interesting was what happened to the program manager overseeing that initiative. Last I heard, he became the VP of IT.

More confessions

OK, so wiblondie came over tonight with her camera and we sang karaoke and generally goofed off. Then, she told me I had to post a confessions list on my blog because she did. I know, it makes no sense, but since she now has incriminating photos of me, I figure I'd better do what she says. So, here is my version of her list:

X next to "yes/always", an O next to "sometimes/usually". My personal commentary is in parenthesis.

[ ] I'm afraid of the quiet.

[x] I am really ticklish. (And it's not funny)

[o] I'm afraid of the dark. (I've gotten better in recent years, but I still hate being home alone overnight)

[ ] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.

[ ] I believe in true love. (Not that I'm a cold-hearted you-know-what, I just don't really buy into the whole soul mate thing. I believe there are several potential partners that a given person could love and be happy with.)

[ ] I've run away from home.

[ ] I listen to political music.

[ ] I collect comic books.

[x] I shut others out when I'm sad. (Wasn't sure so I asked my husband and said I pretty much disappear from everybody)

[x] I open up to others easily. (Too easily sometimes, I'm too trusting)

[o] I keep secrets from the world. (Maybe one or two)

[ ] I watch the news. (I rarely watch TV)

[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.

[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.

[o] I love Disney movies. (Yeah, a few)

[ ] I am a sucker for green eyes.

[ ] I don't kill bugs.

[o] I curse regularly.

[ ] I have (had) "x"s in my screen name.

[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.

[ ] I love Spam.

[o] I bake well. (I do more cooking than baking, but I do make a lot of homemade breads since store bought versions are so high in sodium.)

[ ] I have worn pajamas to class. (Leotards, but not pajamas)

[ ] I have owned something from Abercrombie. (Although I was once offered the chance to have an IT guy from Abercrombie)

[x] I have a job. (Getting one that pays is a recent development...)

[ ] I love Dr. Phil (I've never actually seen him)

[x] I like someone. (I like most people I meet)

[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.

[o] I am self-conscious. (Depending on the subject matter, yes.)

[x] I love to laugh.

[x] I have tried alcohol- just a little sip though. (I've tried sips of Grappa, Limoncello, Rice liqueur, Calvados and several others that I couldn't finish. The first time I drank enough to wake up with a headache was my 10 year high school reunion.)

[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.

[x] I have tried a cigarette. (I'm a non-smoking smoker. I've probably smoked 15 cigarettes my whole life but never picked it up as a regular habit because I knew I'd enjoy it)

[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.

[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies.

[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.

[ ] I can't swallow pills. (I typically swallow 7-8 at a time)

[x] I have some scars. (And some stretch marks, too)

[x] I've been out of this country. (Lost my purse in Scotland, almost lost my purse in Italy, had my underwear stolen out of my bag between Milan and Amsterdam, unknowingly spend $280 on a single undergarment in Denmark when replacing what was stolen, was offered a significant raise if I agreed to wear thigh high stockings in France)

[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.

[x] I love chocolate.

[ ] I bite my nails. (But I sometimes trim my left hand nails shorter than my right hand to play the cello)

[o] I am comfortable with being me. (Eh, it's OK)

[x] I play computer games when I'm bored.

[x] Gotten lost in a city. (I've gotten lost in most cities I've been too, I'm quite a pro at it)

[x] Seen a shooting star.

[o] Had a serious surgery. (Assuming LASIK and wisdom tooth removal aren't considered "serious". Had a vein catheter inserted in femoral artery which is considered a risky procedure.)

[ ] Gone out in public in your pajamas. (Pajamas are a fairly recent addition to my wardrobe since the kids have gotten older)

[ ] Have kissed a stranger.

[x] Hugged a stranger. (Probably... not really sure.)

[ ] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of the same sex.

[ ] Been in a fist fight. (Was close once, but it ended after some hair pulling and scratching)

[ ] Been arrested.

[ ] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.

[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.

[x] Made out in an elevator. (My ex thought it was funny - it was more a joke than serious "making out")

[x] Swore at your parents (Probably... or at least swore in their presence)

[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts. (Not since grade school, but he had it coming)

[ ] Been skydiving.

[ ] Been bungee jumping.

[ ] Been white water rafting.

[x] Gotten stitches (child birth...)

[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.

[0] Bitten someone-playfully! (Bit my son just the other day... playfully, of course)

[x] Been to Niagara Falls. (I was 8 or so, don't remember it much)

[x] Gotten the chicken pox (Kindergarten, I got four spots, that was it)

[o] Crashed into a car. (And had a car crash into me. Other driver's fault in all cases.)

[x] Been to Japan. (Went to a karaoke bar in Japan!)

[x] Ridden in a taxi.

[x] Shoplifted. (KMart - I must've been in grade school - I was walking around with a roll of film that I intended to buy when my sister came in to get me. I totally forgot I had it in my hand and walked out of the store with it. My sister talked me into keeping it as I was scared to death of what would happen if I "turned myself in".)

[x] Been fired. (RIF'ed, more specifically. Directly and indirectly involved in several other firings, so I guess what comes around goes around).

[o] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. (Do feelings of hatred count?)

[x] Stole something from your job. (Never without someone's under the table permission to take something home)

[o] Gone on a blind date. (Once. Had another friend come pick me up half way through...)

[o] Had a crush on a teacher/coach. (College professor)

[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

[x] Been to Europe. (England, Scotland, The Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden, Germany, Switzerland, France, Italy)

[x] Slept with a co-worker. (Then married him and had his baby)

[x] Been married.

[x] Gotten divorced.

[x] Saw someone/something dying. (Just a goldfish)

[ ] Saved someone/something dying.

[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.

[x] Been to Canada.

[x] Been on a plane.

[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[ ] Thrown up in a bar. (Only threw up after drinking once and I was in my 30's - had 2-3 glasses of wine while taking medication that you weren't supposed to consume alcohol on.)

[x] Eaten Sushi. (I could take it or leave it, but it beats duck tongue)

[ ] Been snowboarding.

[x] Been skiing.

[x] Been ice skating.

[ ] Cried in public

[ ] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.

[x] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.

[ ] Wanted to have a 3some

[ ] Had a 3some

[x] Tried Smoking Pot (was going to plead the fifth since my parents read this, but heck, so have they)

[x] Play an instrument (piano, viola, cello, and vocal chords :-))

[x] Seen a large theatrical production

[0] Like going to bookstores

[ ] I am embarrassed buying condoms. (Only bought one box in my entire life and they were purchased with the intention of blowing them up to decorate for a party. Had to ask the store clerk which kind were the best to get for blowing...)

[x] Downloaded music off the internet. (Some legally, others....maybe not)

There you have it!

Fun with vocabulary

My son, age 5, has a fascinating knack for throwing words together and making the most interesting statements. These are the kinds of memories that I wish had captured in a scrapbook somewhere. A few moments ago, he sat down on my lap while I was talking with his sister and announced, "A toast! To the end of your weakness..." What does this mean? Half of the time, I don't think he even knows the meaning of what he's saying, but it's just hilarious to hear some of the things he comes up with. Here are more examples:

A few weeks ago in response to me asking if we had any gum, he held up a pack he got for Halloween and stated one word, "Apparently."

A few week's earlier in response to my attempt at manipulating him through the use of reverse psychology, "Mom, you are so obvious." (I think he was trying to call me obnoxious and got the words mixed up, but the end result was perfect.)

A few months ago I watched my son flip through channels on the TV with the following commentary, "This is boring (click), this one is stupid (click), this just isn't appropriate for anyone! (click)..."

Earlier this year I asked my son why he was having such trouble falling asleep at night. His response was, "Children with my talent set sometimes just get too annoyed to sleep."

At age three, he made one of my favorite comments to date. I came home from work and my husband took one look at my slightly-too-big-lower-cut-than-I-intended shirt and said, "You must've been popular today." My son's response was, "Yeah, Mom, why are you showing off your décolleté?"

And finally, at age two (while protesting potty training in any way possible), my son told his daycare teacher that he didn't have to go to the bathroom when she asked, but five minutes later came back and announced that his diaper was full. "Really?" she asked. He replied, "Yep, theres a whole lotta babyshit in there!" The teacher had to excuse herself and leave the room to compose herself before being able to respond in a serious voice.

Just thought I'd share a bit of the entertainment. Have a great week!

What is support?

My pants are too snug around my waist... it's uncomfortable. I was chatting with wiblondie the other day about how lunch out with friends every day for a week before going back to work followed by lunch with new friends every day during my first week at a new job has resulted in my feeling physically uncomfortable. She suggested that blogging about it might provide some additional level of accountability in undoing those extra few pounds. To her disappointment, I refused stating that most of my friends are so incredibly unsupportive of me when I diet that I don't tell them I'm doing it. She replied, "then maybe that's your topic."

She's right, so I'm going to get on my soap box for a bit. If you have a friend who has specific diet and health goals, as long as that person isn't harming themself, your job as their friend is to be supportive. Telling your friend they look fine and shouldn't be so concerned about their size is not only unsupportive, it is ignorant and insulting unless you know for certain that vanity is your friend's only motivation.

As most of my readers know, I have hypertension (high blood pressure). Most of you know that weight, diet, and stress all contribute to increased blood pressure levels. A couple of you know that my hypertension is not idiopathic, it is secondary to another condition. What this means is that losing weight and eliminating stress might improve my condition but they will not, in and of themselves, cure me. I have bilateral adrenal hyperplasia (also known as hyperaldosteronism or Conn's Syndrome). In layman's terms, I have tumors on both adrenal glands that actively produce excess levels of the hormone that controls electrolyte balance. What this means for me is that my body retains sodium and wastes potassium. Now, if you want specifics on why that is bad, post a comment and I'll get back to you, but for now let's get back back to the point.

I've been thin to average by most people's standards most of my life with two exceptions. I gained a ton of weight when I was pregnant (I dropped 100 pounds in the following three years), and last fall (2004) I gained weight during a month of steroid therapy that I haven't lost yet. I have a handful of goals when it comes to defining my goal weight:

• Fall within the healthy range of body fat percentage for average women (21 - 33%, I usually go for 28% and I'm not a big fan of the BMI calculation)
• Keep my blood pressure under control with minimal medication and diet restrictions
• Keep my bank account under control by wearing the same size clothing for an extended period of time

Notice I did not list seeing how skinny I can get, being attractive to the opposite sex, or looking like the latest pop star as a goal. Frankly, I've been told that when I am at an ideal body fat percentage, I look "too skinny". And when I look "just right" to these same people, they tell me to stop obsessing over how I look. Who is obsessing over what here? I have a five year old son and I obsess over being here for him as he grows up, not whether or not my ass fills out a pair of Levi's too much or too little.

Additionally, whether I am at my ideal weight or not, I will always be on a "diet" because my health requires it. It may not be a weight loss diet, but this is the assumption people make when you choose to eat healthy which brings me to my next point. You aren't being supportive when you make food choice suggestions to your dieting friend if you don't understand their nutrition goals. I had one friend who always tried to push the soup and salad option on me when we ate out because he thought it was a healthy option. Soups are notoriously high in sodium. Then there are the friends who do you the favor of questioning everything you put in your mouth... "are you supposed to have that?" Take a look at a McDonald's nutrition chart sometime.... a medium order of fries has 220 mg of sodium while a ceasar salad with grilled chicken has 1390 (add another 500 if you use two packets of dressing).

If you know someone who is trying to make healthy choices, please support them unconditionally. If you don't understand their choices, ask them to explain, don't just give advice that might be completely contraindicated in their situation. Please remember that while a size 10 might be the ideal size for you, for some body types being a size eight is too big. Finally, not everyone diets because they are emotionally unhappy or uncomfortable with themselves, sometimes it's just because their pants have gotten too tight.

What is a neighbor?

I mentioned in an earlier post that I am the president of my neighborhood's homeowners' association. We had an association meeting last week and the feedback I got was that a few homeowners are concerned about the board's apparent refusal to take legal action against those who violate the neighborhood covenants.

Now, we're not talking about wild loud parties and cannabis gardens in the back yards... There are two rules that at least 50% of our neighbors break: 1) park your car in your garage, not your driveway and 2) keep your yard light on. Regardless of your opinion of the rule itself, realize that everyone signed a contract when they moved in that stated their understanding of the rules. Why can't people just follow them?

I'm not sure what is worse. Neighbor A who disconnects power to his front light (not allowed because reflective address numbers are supposed to be mounted there for emergency services per town ordinance) or Neighbor B who wants me to sue Neighbor A.

We do have a modest litigation fund, but is this really an appropriate use of it? Can you imagine the outcry if we announced a 100% increase in association dues to support law suit fees against someone who parked their 2004 BMW next to their garage rather than in it? My response to one homeowner was "Do you really want to live in a neighborhood where I will put a lien on your house if the bulb in your front yard light burns out?"

I don't get it. Aren't neighbors supposed to have a certain sense of community? Aren't we supposed to lend each other cups of sugar and have round robin parties? Or doesn't this apply when your neighbors are CEOs and attorneys? Perhaps this is a clue as to why so many businesses are in the shape they're in these days....

Perhaps...

Thank you to the reader that left me this comment:

"Perhaps your reader was just concerned as to whether you had found a job or not and was revisiting your site in the hopes that you had......"

I'd like to think that is the case, but if it was, why not just pick up the phone or send an email that says, "I was just thinking of you, how is the job search going?" Perhaps the concern was mutual, why keep it one sided?

I have lots of guesses as to why, but I don't like assuming motivation without any solid evidence. Consider the conclusions you can come to when making assumptions: This weekend my stepdaughter asked me to help her wash her hair. When I reached for the shampoo, I saw that the bottle was empty and she had been using the little hotel trial size shampoo bottles that I collect on trips and put in a basket of toiletries for guests. Had she told me she was out of shampoo, I would have bought her a new regular size bottle. I told my husband that this is how I imagine wild stories begin... the next thing we know we'll hear through the grapevine some scandalous rumor that we're too cheap to even buy soap and shampoo for the kids and how we make them use hotel samples. I know that seems extreme, but you'd be amazed at the stories that you hear through neighbors and church gossip when blended families are involved.

Nonetheless, theories exist...

One person pointed out that blame is a coping mechanism and as the manager, I'm the most obvious candidate to blame. I can be that person if it helps someone recover but one would hope that eventually logic would rule, especially considering I was the first one to go.

One of my team members actually told me that another team member stabbed me in the back during her one-on-one interview with the consultant and she is now angry that things didn't turn out as she hoped. I prefer to think that I wouldn't have hired someone with that little business sense. But this is how those stories begin...

I even started to wonder if my former boss started making stories up after I called the police on him. I have no idea what his reaction was to that whole situation.

These are just theories though. All I know for a fact is that one employee met me for coffee after we were dismissed, we hugged and promised to keep in touch and he's obviously changed his mind.

The other employee was on vacation at the time and asked me not to contact her if anything major happened during her vacation. We had a simple miscommunication before she left. She completed an advisory which I published because I knew she wanted to do some follow-up announcements on it. As the department manager, I had always distributed all publications from my team (crediting the author, of course) and in this case I wanted to get it out quickly for her because of the high probability that significant changes would be distracting people later in the week. She wanted to be the one to publish it and became irate - the last thing she said to me was that I made us all "look like idiots." I asked her to stop in my office to discuss her reaction after she cooled down, but she left. We exchanged a few insincere words in the hall the next day, but she essentially avoided me and left for vacation. I chalked it up to the extreme pressure we were all under, but the situation left me in shock. I would just never speak to someone that way.

Her termination occurred the day she returned from vacation. I spoke with her husband to make sure she had my phone number and email address should she need anything because I didn't have her home contact information and their number is unlisted. Mainly, I wanted to let her know that I had samples of her writing if she needed it for interviews, that her severance package could be negotiated, and that if she was allowed to keep the airline tickets that had already been purchased for us to attend a technical conference, I would be happy to sign mine over so her and her husband could go somewhere.

My apologies for the long explanation, but I did appreciate the comment and wanted to provide some more background on the whole situation. As I said before, I don't mind who reads my blog. This stuff all happened three months ago and maybe reading my perception of the events is just interesting. My degree in psychology does result in me being curious about human behavior at times like this; however, it isn't something I'm going to dwell over. My new coworkers have been great, I'm happy to be at a new company and life goes on.

Thanksgiving Humor

I just couldn't resist...

Happy Thanksgiving!

What is emotional?

I've had a great final week of freedom before returning to the land of the contributing members of society. Last weekend, totallybrunette (one of my very best friends for almost 30 years now!) came to visit and we hunted down another good friend of ours from high school and had dinner at the restaurant he manages, Twisted Fork. Earlier that day, we went to the mall where I ran into a former coworker and a consultant I worked closely with on a Novell migration eight years ago! We exchanged numbers and promised to reconnect.

The remainder of the week, I had lunch on three days with three different former coworkers and one lunch with my cleaning lady (who I am happily re-hiring!). All in all, it's been great to hook up with everyone one more time.

Of course, everyone wanted to hear about the new job, so I filled them in a bit on what I'd be doing and told them the story about how the recruiter told me they really liked me a lot but were slightly concerned that I appeared unemotional. My third interview was a lunch meeting with several staff members, which I chuckled over because I've done the exact same thing to try to get a candidate to loosen up. The message with the offer was waiting for me when I returned home that day, but I couldn't stop thinking to myself, "My god, do I really come across as THAT uptight?!"

Ultimately, the concern was that the interview was very professional in nature and they wanted to make sure I would be a team fit - that I could play as hard as I worked. Nonetheless, the word "unemotional" kept coming to my mind and I kept repeating the same question to myself, "When did being unemotional in a professional environment become a BAD thing?" I mean, try to find a definition of emotional that doesn't imply excessive reaction or irrational judgment.

Finally, I found an interesting explanation:

"Emotions play a role in situations that result in undesired internal states and cognitive streams to the individual feeling them, which s/he may wish to control but often cannot, or at least produce consequences or thoughts which s/he may later regret or disagree with but during the emotional state, could not control with his/her other principles."

Based upon this definition, I guess I would agree. It is highly unlikely that I could get so worked up about something that my guiding principles could not control my actions. But here is an interesting twist... the vast majority of people who DO allow their emotions to take control (and many, many do) assume that you are exactly like them and thus believe you did act in a manner that was against your core values. They see your response and look for ulterior motives, or they don't see your response and assume it was something different than what it was. Or, maybe they just believe you have no values at all. Right or wrong, I have come to believe that people view others in this way only because they are this way themselves.

Am I unemotional? Perhaps. I'm absolutely passionate about what I believe in, but I'm incredibly unsentimental. I don't celebrate anniversaries, I don't have a baby book for my son, I don't bring up events from six months ago during a disagreement. With very few exceptions, I just don't dwell on the past. When I do find myself dwelling, it is typically because I need to figure something out to provide some resolution or closure before I can move on.

Unfortunately, this was one of those cases. I was driving home the other day when it hit me, I thought I found closure. I decided I was unemotional because a person's emotional make-up was the result of their life experiences and I have had no major life circumstances to shape me into a complex emotional being. My parents provided for my every need, but didn't cave into my every want. My family is still close. I was never abused and have never experienced the death of an immediate family member or close friend.

I was OK with this explanation for about a day when it hit me. My dog was put to sleep while I was at a friend's house, my alcoholic grandfather moved in with us, my parents got divorced with no warning, I became a member of a fundamentalist religious cult in college, married another member of the cult when I was too young to know better, was cheated on with close friends, got divorced, developed a rare chronic illness that requires me to take medication the rest of my life, had a boss that I enjoyed working for and respected for years do a complete 180 degree turn on me and start telling strangers that I was his wife, and I lost my job.

Suddenly, I realized what the answer is. Life experiences don't create your emotional palette, your emotional palette colors your perception of your life events. I've never been one to sit around and feel sorry for myself - I've always been able to find someone worse off. The best lesson in life my parents taught me was "life's not fair." It isn't. The sooner you learn to accept that little truth, the better off you will be. I've rarely looked back at any experience or choice with regret, they've all been learning experiences and have shaped who I am today. So, go ahead and kick me when I'm down, but beware.... I will grow stronger and you will continue to live in toxic negativity.

Vote for Pedro, I mean wiblondie

Hey all, wiblondie was nominated for the Milwaukee Blog of the Week contest! Drop by their website and place your vote...

Dealing with needy people

Ironic, isn't it? The day I receive the paperwork from the company I am joining, I get three phone calls about other opportunities. Life is strange, but that's not really why I'm writing tonight. I got a special request to blog about needy people - not needy as in homeless or hungry, but needy in terms of their requirements for continuous emotional validation and social acceptance.

I have a good friend who draws these people to her. I don't think it is because of her personality specifically, but because of the various roles she fills. I mentioned her earlier in my Com 101 lesson, but what I didn't mention is the kinds of situations she finds herself in that are, quite frankly, far beyond what most normal adults should have to deal with in a day.

Take, for example, the person who wants to be in a show with my friend but wants the script rearranged so she doesn't want to say any lines. Or the person who insists on making her own costume but refuses to follow the fabric and color guidelines and stands out like a sore thumb. Then there is the committee member who will only talk to one other person on the committee, and the people with leading roles who can't attend most of the rehearsals. All of these people have the need to be involved but they all expect it to be on their terms. Everyone else involved complains to my friend and expects her to fix it.

Then there are people who join the choir my friend directs because they really need a reason to get out of the house and spend time with other people, but they can't sing. Or they can sing, but they don't believe they can so they apologize for how bad they are until you reassure them that they sound great. There are people who want solos but call in sick every time they are scheduled to sing, people who complain that they don't like the song or the range of their part, people who complain about others who don't know their part, and most recently, even complaints about how the person sitting next to them looks or smells.

In the first example, people are part of a production that the public is paying money to see. The individuals involved all have significant talents to contribute, but some refuse to be led past their convenience boundary. Those few are assuming that my friend is the person in need when actually they should be regarding her as their leader on this project. Unfortunately, you can't change people (especially in one month's time!), so my advice to her was to decide if their talents were worth the stress and either put up with their attitudes or let them go.

The second example is a bit different as it revolves around a volunteer group that people join for various reasons - social, hobby, etc. When the complaints got out of control, I spoke with my pastor about it and she had a very wise response. She said, "Sometimes people need us more than we need them and right now they are your ministry."

What drives human motivation is a discussion that is way too long to put in a single blog post, but the key thing to remember is that you can't change other people. You only have control over your response to them. In considering your reaction to "needy" people, think about what the other person's real need is but also reflect upon the impact that your own need for comfort and convenience might have on your response.

What is a god parent?

Wiblondie is my son's godmother. He actually has two, but she is one of them. Myself a god parent, I've given serious consideration to what that person's role is. Unfortunately for you, now is not the time for me to write about it. Instead, let's focus on the often underappreciated responsibility that god parents have - that being finding the most obnoxious, noise-making gifts possible at birthdays and Christmas.

Now, to her defense, wiblondie does have exceptional taste. In addition, she has the impressive talent of combining her tasteful selections with the obligatory noise-making gifts, resulting in a fantastic case of song-stuck-in-your-headedness that goes something like this:

His Cheeseburger (click to listen)
Veggie-Tales

He said to her “I’d like a cheeseburger,
And I might like a milkshake as well.”
She said to him “I can’t give you either”
And he said “isn’t this Burger Bell?”
She said “yes it is but we’re closed now
But we open tomorrow at ten”
He said “I am extremely hungry
But I guess I can wait until then”

[Chorus]

‘Cuz you’re his cheeseburger
His yummy cheeseburger
He’ll wait for you-ou
Yeah, he’ll wait for you-ou
Oh, you are his cheeseburger,
His tasty cheeseburger
He’ll wait for you-ou
Oh he will wait for you

He stayed at the drive-through till sunrise
He may have dozed off once or twice
When he spotted a billboard for Denny’s
Bacon and eggs for half price
How could he resist such an offer?
He really needed something to munch
Cheeseburger please do not get angry
He’ll eat and be back here for lunch.

[Chorus]

‘Cuz you’re his cheeseburger
His precious cheeseburger
Be back for you-ou
He’ll be back for you-ou
Won’t be so long cheeseburger
Oh lovely cheeseburger
Be back for you-ou
Oh he’ll be back for you

‘Cuz he loves you cheeseburger
With all his heart
And there ain’t nothin'
Gonna tear you two-o apart
And if the world suddenly
Ran out of cheese
He would get down on his
Hands and knees
And say if someone accidentally
Dropped some cheese in the dirt
He would wash it off for you
Wash it off for you
Clean that dirty cheese off
Just for you

You are his cheeseburger