Just Zip It!

Someone asked me write about people who don't keep secrets, so I pondered.... and thought... and considered... and finally asked my five year old what he thought. You see, while I came up with all sorts of theories about why some people like to tell other people's secrets and what secrets are OK to share, I kept coming back to the same basic principle: Unless keeping a secret is going to cause harm to someone else, just zip it. My five year old's simple response rings true, "People who tell your secrets aren't being good friends and I wouldn't want to play with them anymore."

I was recently faced with a situation where I had kept a secret for over a year. The secret was something I stumbled over, it wasn't expressly shared with me. As time passed, it became very obvious that hiding the information I was privy to could cause significant damage to people I care about. I was tormented. I spoke to my pastor about it. And finally, just over a month ago, I shared the information with the person it impacted the most having no idea how it would be received. I was fortunate in that my friend was very happy I brought it up and the knowledge I shared explained all kinds of strange behavior and brought clarity to decisions that were on the brink of being made.

Now on the flip side, I have another friend who shared a secret with me. This secret would not cause harm to anyone. In fact, it was very good news. My friend's coworker discovered this secret and despite a direct request not to share the secret until my friend was ready to make it public. This coworker promptly returned to the office and started talking.

Why steal someone else's thunder? Why tell someone else's story? Frankly, if doing so doesn't prevent a hazardous situation (be it personal injury or I'll even accept business success as a reasonable excuse, as long as you're only telling someone higher up on the org chart), telling secrets is nothing more than gossip and only serves to demonstrate that the teller lacks integrity and can't be trusted.

Next time you are tempted to reveal someone else's personal information, take a few moments to consider this.