May I FINISH please?! Part Two

I hate to be interrupted. Ask anyone who knows me what is the one things that drives me crazy when I'm talking and if they don't say "being interrupted" then they're lying about how well they know me. Really... it's rude. It's inconsiderate. It's disrespectful. It's something I really need to figure out why it happens to me so often and what I need to change to prevent it. I've given a lot of thought about why people do this so much and why it bothers me. I've come to a few conclusions, let me give you a few.

First, see my previous post. "Experts" who may know more about a topic than you who fail to first discover what you really do and don't know. Solution: When you introduce yourself, tell them right off the bat that you are probably smarter than they are and there may be one or two things you could learn from them, but that's about it. I know that sounds terrible, but some of the most interesting people I've talked to don't claim to be experts in anything.

Second, there is the friend who really likes talking about herself. Anything you might have to say reminds her of something that she did or that has happened to her and no matter how exciting or dramatic your story might be, hers will always be more exciting or more dramatic. So much so, in fact, that she needs to interrupt you to tell you about it. Solution: Get together only when you're bored and need someone to tell you some good stories.

Third, the another friend who is always too busy to let you finish what you have to say and therefore provides you with an answer based upon the first half of your sentence. For example... Me: "Do you know what time the sun..." Her: "6:30 am" Me: "...goes down at night?" Solution: Eliminate unnecessary words and use fragmented sentences: "Sky dark when?"

Forth, the person who is so used to hearing the same question that they just can't fathom being asked a more intelligent question. These are the people who give you an answer before you even start the question. Solution: Again, when you first meet the person explain to them that you're probably smarter than they are.

Fifth, the life of the party. Oh, this happened to me yesterday, too! I made a toast and I had two points to make. We're not talking about a several minute speech, we're talking about two independent clauses joined by a conjunction to form a single sentence. I finished the first clause and someone liked it so much he decided to jump in and add to it before I was done. Solution: Yell out the rest of your sentence as loud as you can over the person who interrupted you so everyone can see what an ass he is.

Six, the friend who is completely incapable of focusing on a single thought for more than about 5 seconds. When you tell her a story, you will be interrupted about 5 times to be asked irrelevant details about the story you're telling then interrupted again before the punchline with something of a completely different topic. For example, Me: "You won't believe what I saw today! I was pulling up to a store when..." Her: "You went shopping? Where'd you go? Did you buy anything?" Me: "Yes, Kohls, shoes, anyway, when all of the sudden this man came storming out..." Her: "Was he cute? What was he wearing? Did he buy anything?" Me: "No, I don't know, I don't think so, anyway, right as he passed me he looked right at me and..." Her: "Hey, I'm thinking of painting my bedroom, what color should I use?" Solution: Stick to email conversations (and compassionately realize that gorgeous blondes with big boobs just aren't used to people wanting to talk to them).