Eosophobia

It's interesting how we remember insignificant details of our past but not what we had for dinner yesterday. This evening during dinner, I spouted off the quadratic formula just because I could but I can't remember how many cups of flour I've added to the bread machine. I remember phone numbers of grade school friends, but I can't remember what today's date is. Below is another locked up memory. A melody imprisoned in my mind, a song that is no longer sung. This is really a piece of art that shouldn't be lost... I inspired it, but did not write it - I just don't want to see it forgotten.

"Fear of the Dawn"

You're there in my dreams undeniably true
Singing and taunting the whole night through
While unrelenting remarks of advice
Flow from you into me in the middle of the night

And you are a tower of sweet summer song
And I can't believe it, you're here all along
It's you in the darkness with me on the rail
And I can't believe it, you're here with me still

Cobwebs in corners and lampshades of blue
Doors open up and let me in with you
A window is opening up in your mind
Letting you know I was here all the time

And the trees are all lonely without you under them
And the sky will grow back and I'll die once again
Yes all will be lost if you don't stay with me
Be near me, be near me, for fear of the dawn

Leaves cracking underfoot making me scream
There's no telling what you might do in your dreams
If loneliness was my reality, believe
You might turn around and find no trace of me

And the trees are all lonely without you under them
And the sky will grow back and I'll die once again
Yes all will be lost if you don't stay with me
Be near me, be near me, for fear of the dawn

by JK - AKA the English Fireman (or Eskimo Friend)

Great dancer, OK singer, can't burp....

Most people who know me well know that I'm a vocalist. It took me years to get over the whole insecurity that went along with acknowledging that I'm good at it... not because I was afraid people would disagree, nobody has so far. Rather, because I had this overall sense of discomfort associated with publicly accepting that I'm not only darn good at something but, in fact, better at it than most people I know. It goes back to a previous blog about arrogance - if people know that I know, they'll assume I'm arrogant and that I do it because I like the recognition. Not true, though. Music is therapeutic to me. It's a constant. It is a perfect blend of art and math that allows my otherwise logical and unemotional personality some opportunity for creative expression. But enough about that...

A smaller subset of people who know me know that in college I minored in dance and majored in psychology with a pre-med course load. I wanted to either be a dance and movement therapist, or a clinical neuropsychologist. I sliced, diced, stained and studied many a rats brains....

What few people know is that upon entering college, I auditioned for a music theater scholarship. I returned to the panel after giving my best dance, singing and acting performances to be told, "You're a great dancer, an OK singer, but you can't act." Mind you, I don't deny that statement one bit. I suck at acting. I can't even tell a white lie convincingly.

Nonetheless, nearly 20 years later, certain opportunities have presented themselves once again. I am on my third year running of an annual performance. The first year, it involved tons of singing and a few lines. The second year, the amount of singing remained the same but I was given more lines and asked to choreograph a dance! Year three, still the same amount of singing, the same dancing, but my character has been changed to a drunk who throws out occasional comments that have mostly to do with finding more alcohol. However, this year a new and interesting challenge has been presented to me, for the directions in the script at one point require me to belch on command.

I'm in my mid-thirties and this is not a talent I ever mastered. I'm not even a novice. I don't have the slightest clue how to do it. Furthermore, the only responses I've received when asking for advice have been either, "It's easy, you just swallow some air," or the person just musters up their best eructation and walks away.

Life is funny. After traveling the world, climbing the corporate ladder and keeping up with the Jones', this is what it has come to. And to think, just a few short months ago I found myself pondering one of life's deepest questions, "Now what?" I guess I have my answer.

What Is Intelligence, part 2

In an earlier post, I rambled on at length about intelligence. I have found this to be the topic of recent conversations once again and decided on a different, simpler, approach. Most people already have a general notion of what it is, it might be easier to define what it ISN'T. For the record... for all those people who have bragged to you about how intelligent they are... remember that intelligence ISN'T:

• Ability
• Common Sense
• Competence
• Confidence
• Drive
• Expertise
• Knowledge
• Maturity
• Motivation
• Passion
• Security
• Skills
• Stability
• Success
• Talent
• Wisdom

If you still need a real definition, there are 4 -

in·tel·li·gence n.
The capacity to acquire and apply knowledge.
The faculty of thought and reason.
Superior powers of mind.
Synonyms - wiblondie and donnavera.